Grief is messy

I don’t know how to begin this – nobody does. Grief is messy, destructive, and consuming. It just has a way of sneaking up on us. It just jumps out of nowhere when we’re all happy and living life so perfectly normal. It has been 4 months since, and I thought by now we would have taken in the news, accepted it, and moved on with life.

Little did I know that I wasn’t prepared; we weren’t prepared to take in the news all over again when we see her all over again. It’s when we wish we could all go back in time so that we could stop the tragic from happening. It’s the laughter we missed, the holidays at work we go through together, the never-ending projects we complain about. It’s the moment we had together over the decade that we wish it doesn’t change.

Today I realize that every loss sticks with you, it’s carried inside of us every day weighing us down. It’s whether it has the chance to creep up on us. Memories are beautiful but they haunt us deep down too. Grief changes us somehow or rather; it moves through our body and drown us deep into our sorrows. Today, I would like to say, grief won.