It’s official, all my cousins are
engaged and/or married and I’m still contemplating whether I should go for that
date each time I got an invitation. To be honest, I’m not even close. And
to be even more honest, I am glad for the past 2 years I have not attended any
family gatherings because everyone else would be bringing their other half and
I would be sitting there alone with my food avoiding eye contact with everyone’s
else.
How am I supposed to tell everyone
that I only date for fun. I dated someone from the New Year all the way till
Summer and decide not to see him ever again. There was another guy who stalks
me so much I had to block him. And okay, there’s another low self-esteem guy
who never liked his life or his career. But I still go out with him sometimes.
It seems like I’m always out all weekend, but I’m not dating someone
officially, and that seems even harder for everyone to swallow that thought.
For those of my friends who knew my
dating habits all freaked out. “You should meet my friend X. I think you’d be
perfect for each other”. These are the common lines I hear echoing out of the lips
of people who thinks my dating habits is unacceptable. I know everyone is
trying to help, but I just want the kind of dates with no commitment. I
know this is a problem in my life that needs to be fixed, but I can’t fix it
right now, not when I have set my life goal to leave the country.
The guy I dated almost 6 months is
one of the most genuine and nicest people I’ve ever met. The stalker guy always
has the date all plan out. The guy who did not like himself was one of the most
generous men that I’ve ever had the pleasure to meet. I sometimes miss hanging
out with my dates, and I have to say I learned important things about people
and about myself during the time I was with each one. And I learned equally
important lessons during those nights and weeks and months I spent totally alone.
I know this is a couple-drive
society. There is no table for one when I go to a restaurant. At family
reunions, no one congratulates me for not bringing home a boyfriend the way
they congratulate my cousins who bring home their other half to meet the
extended family for the first time. When I meet new people, they never say, “I
hope you’re single, because being single is so much fun!”
I hope that singles are
all being respected equally and not interrogated all the time.