I read a quote online recently saying that “Woman! When someone loves you, you cannot even unscrew the mineral bottle cap. But when no one is there to help you, you can carry buckets of water over your shoulder. There is no right or wrong, when life needs us to be strong, we can be strong!”
Most
of the time I question myself if I’m too headstrong as a woman. It isn’t that I
can’t be in a relationship, I’ve made this conscious decision over the years to
stay single. I proclaim myself as an independent woman who does not need
another human being; I can afford to pay my own meals, my own groceries or
shopping. I have worked my ass off all these years that I can proudly say that
I could pay for all my luxury dreams too. I spoke my mind, I shove guys on
their face when they disrespect woman, because people need to know that women, just
like men, are worthy of being respect.
But
I keep convincing myself that I can be that independent woman and still be in a
loving relationship. I don’t have to take in the silent battles myself, I am
learning is okay to let someone pay for my meals, it’s okay to let someone
shower their attention over me. And there is nothing to stress about. I can ask
for help, I can feel insecure, I can feel vulnerable and still be independent.
I convince myself that independence doesn’t depend on my relationship status,
it depends on my strength, on my energy, on how much I can accomplish in a day.
I am a woman. I am stubborn and wild. I am tender and compassionate. I am all things bold, but also gentle. I am both loud and quiet, light and dark. I do not fit into a box. I am not easily labeled, not always understood. Sometimes I am a little too much, but sometimes I want to be more. Everyday I am still learning how to be vulnerable.