You
tell me not to eat up the thoughts that have been bothering me and spit them out
to you, yet the simplest thought could never be heard. I used to think I
had walls as tall as towers, rose vines creeping up to reach the sky. Those
thorns swirl the heart to protect me from letting anyone close to me even if
that meant not truly living. I always thought that letting someone in has long
been erased from my coding, that I was terrified of the pain that lingers in
the shadows of love.
But
we are who we are because of the experiences that have shaped us. I remember tearing
down the pieces bit by bit just for you, letting those feelings consume
me, allowing it to grow stronger as you carry your baggage and move into my
heart. I convince my heart to allow you to walk all over my life, to touch the
places I never let anyone before. And I want to convince myself that this time
it’s different, this time I’ll not get all stress out, I’ll not get tired and
hide back into my shell.
Hell,
I was wrong! My life is just one big dejavu that repeats the same old story
over and again. And this time I realize it isn’t because I wanted to build
walls around my heart, but it was the thoughts that were raised always but ignored.
It isn’t that I have got a graveyard on my lips, it was the words that were
said but never heard. I have lost count on the number of times our plan was turned
down because he has to check the weather or read the reviews.
People
say relationships tend to lose spark overtime, where the truth is, people just
stop doing spontaneous thing over time and blame that feelings just fade with
time.