When
my friends ask me what I want more than anything else in life, I always thought
it’d be traveling the world in business class, achieving more financial
stability and/or even emotionally stable yet deep down inside, I just
want someone to love me the way I love them. I may crave and hope for a relationship,
but I also learned the hard way about my own value. I’ve spent years chasing
after countless men, each time thinking I had found the one who would finally
fill the empty parts of my soul.
Yet,
each time I find myself picking up the pieces of my heart, from another failed
attempt of love. And as much as I want to discover my true love in this lifetime,
right now I just want happiness instead. I want to wake up and feel excited about
the day ahead, I want to learn to enjoy the little moments and being grateful
for every thing that happen. I want to lay in bed whole day without feeling I’m
wasting my youth and just let darkness consume me.
Most
of all, I want to look in the mirror and not care what I see. I want to feel
comfortable in my body no matter where I am. I want to wear the clothing that
makes me feel the most authentic so I can embrace my entire being. So, this
time, I’m changing the narrative in the story of my life. I want to fall in
love, but only if I could feel the comfort of his warm embrace when he’s right
by my side. I want to love, but more than that, I want happiness so much
more.