Sometimes we
lose people because we overlove them. I don’t need someone to save me. I don’t
need someone to stitch up my broken parts.
I know that everyone comes with their own baggage, everyone has cuts that are permanent marks on their hearts and just like everyone else these imperfections don’t have to be fixed at all. I just want to cover them up. I am not someone who would proudly wear my scars without wanting to hide them and/or let someone runs their finger over the wounds I have yet to recover from.
So many do not understand why they lose me. I do not need to be saved or fixed… I just need a little more space to overthink the things in my head without additional stress pushing me forward. I do not need more love or attention or even affection. I have anxiety, I am not okay with people wanting to get to know the ugly parts of me, who wants to know my past that I’ve hid so well. I just need the right amount of space to figure everything out.
I don’t need someone who thinks that they need to be here all the time so that I could feel loved. I am a raging storm that’s temporary put on hold. When my cloudy days get fogged up in my mind, stay 6-feet apart from me before I break you. I am not whole, I am pieces with sharp edges that will make anyone bleed if they come too close. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave, you will understand why storms are named after people.
As much as I want to fall in love again in this lifetime, I cannot. Because they think that they need to fix us or saved us or needed to be always there but I’ve anxiety, what I needed most isn’t love but space to breathe so that I do not get stress out and overthink. I guess sometimes we lose people because we overlove them or that maybe sometimes love just ain’t enough.