Deleting My Journal

Today, I accidentally deleted my 4 Years of Journal when I formatted my iPad. I love reopening old journals or scrolling back through my blog. I'll be looking for an old post, and I'll read the ones before and after it, remembering moment, good or bad, which have faded from my memory. Of times, I kept most of my journal about him in my iPad when I am not home, I want to share this fresh memories I had throughout the day immediately with you. I remember on one of Chinese New Year I was on the Singapore Flyer, I want to tell you how lucky I was to be able to see the Fireworks from the top of the Flyer or the time when I first enter the Universal Studios, how excited I was to be able to stand in the picture with Madagascar and the Kung Fu Panda. They were all in my journal, and they were all written to you.

However, I did not feel sad or anything special after they were accidentally deleted as I felt this should be the right time, since I've finally decided to not look back ever again. I finally took the effort to delete all the old text messages, pictures, and all the letters that I've written to you sometime back. Then suddenly, it all becomes dramatic when the rains start to pour from above when I turn to the back of the windows looking up to the rain, with my laptop on shuffle, a song of his suddenly played out of the random. I wish you could accidentally take away the memories I had in my head like you accidentally deleted them from my iPad.

I still know what I've written in the Journal, but I know I can never read back that exact words, exact feel when I pen down to you. But I know few months down the road you would be just a faded memory in my head that I once held on so tight. If you want to delete your feelings, first delete your journal.